As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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