Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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