I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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