Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize