I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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