the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
