The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
