My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
