Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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