Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
