my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
