Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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