Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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