He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
