Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
