if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
