That's when you crack a 10am beer
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
