My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
