i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
