Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
