Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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