He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
