we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
