I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
