I have demons in me.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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