Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
