why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
