Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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