My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
this boner is exhausting
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
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