How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
