i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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