i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
