porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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