I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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