spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
