she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
he thought i was a dude.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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