69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I wear drunk well.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
