if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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