I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
