I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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