butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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