Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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