dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
