peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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