I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
