So drunk its hurt
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
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