He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
