Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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