think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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