Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
