I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
