Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Are we still banned from the library?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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