i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
