..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
These tits shall not be calmed
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
