So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
