I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
